This summer Melanie and I celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary.  This is my second post thinking about what makes a marriage work.

For my part, the last twenty years (or more properly twenty-five years because that’s when we started “going out” together) has been a journey about learning to love Melanie more and more.

“Husbands love your wives,” Ephesians 5:25.

Put like that, it sounds simple, doesn’t it?  But love has to be cultivated, nurtured.  “Love is patient and kind… it does not insist on its own way… it is not irritable or resentful… love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things,” and most importantly, “love never ends,” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

You have to work at love like that. 

I’m still learning how to express my love for Melanie.  I have found Gary Chapman’s views on love languages helpful and I like Shanti and Jeff Feldhahn’s books For Men Only and For Women Only, especially the line, “even after you’ve caught her, continue to pursue her.”

I’ve always thought that it is important to keep growing in love for each other.  Too many married people invest all their time in their individual lives (which are important) and their children (who are also important) and not enough in their marriage.  When the children leave home they discover they have grown apart.

How do you make marriage work?

2.  Keep growing in love for each other.