During the year I have heard some incredibly moving stories.  Dreadful childhoods, appalling abuse, broken relationships and powerful addictions.  Not everyone has been able to overcome these barriers, but for many this has been a year of positive change and progress.  I have been so blessed by them and have never been happier with the mix of people I am working with or the overwhelmingly good choices they are making.

This week, I heard in the news that in the UK the life expectancy of people without a home is 30 years less than the average.  I am glad to be able to give a small number of people a chance to live longer and happier lives.  And I look forward to 2012 because like them, I have hope for the future.

I moved to the Peak District because I love the countryside.  I was definitely not a city person.  I still believe that God called me to the beautiful market town in which I live.  And I absolutely love it.  However, I now work predominately in the city of Derby and I serve in a church with a clear vision for the city.  Which makes the city quite central to my life.

So when it became apparent that I could play a part in establishing, growing and multiplying LifeGroups in the city centre I thought it would be a good thing to do.  And having made the decision to do it, I am more excited and enthusiastic about it than I ever would have believed I could be.

Our first group meeting was two weeks ago.  Seven of us met McDonald’s and enthused each other about what God was saying.  Last week twelve of us met in a bar and this week I am confident that more will join us.

There is something really challenging and edgy about this group.  It’s very different from a traditional small group based in a home.  Meeting in bars and coffee shops automatically gives a feel of being friends together.  Every meeting is a social.  And meeting in public places means that outreach is automatically at the heart of what we are doing.  Talking at normal volume about our faith, our love of God, our walk with Jesus and our desire to see the Spirit move, is challenging and fun.  Praying together is scary and wonderful.

Of course, such groups have to be different from what happens in homes.  We are already discovering that.  Plotting a way forward is huge fun.  My enthusiasm feels boundless.  I long to see more groups of this nature growing out of what we are doing and I am confident that they will.  I am confident that in turn we will have a real impact on the people around us.

What better way to be salt and light than to meet, talk and pray in the very bars and cafe’s where so many others are gathered?

And of course, it is a really simple transition for our alpha guests to make.  Already, several have indicated that they will join the group when the course has finished in order to continue their journey.  Which means that the groups will have people in them who haven’t yet given their lives completely to Jesus but who are being drawn to Him and want to continue their journey of discovery.

It seems to have filled me with life again.  I don’t think our Christian lives should feel “safe” in that sense – I like feeling out there, on the edge, putting myself in places where I am totally reliant on God.  But I can only do that when I am confident that He has called me to do it.  And I am confident that He has called me to do this.

I will let you know how it goes.

And I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

You see, world governments don’t exactly fill us with confidence do they?  They get themselves in debt, can’t pay their way out of it, political unions are on the verge of collapse and corruption sometimes appears to be endemic or they go totalitarian and start shooting people who are looking for a better way and deny basic rights to millions.

“Democratic” nations use military power against nations they don’t like in what seems to be an inconsistent way (although believing they can win and in the process defend their own financial interests do seem to be major factors) and even in wealthy nations the gap between rich and poor is rising and unemployment is heading in the wrong direction.

Do we want a king?

And then I start thinking about the kind of king that God is.

Does God have any debts?  Er, no.  In fact He has paid all our debts for us and still has an abundance of good gifts to shower us with.  Is he corrupt?  No.  Everything He does is just and true.  Is he good?  Absolutely.  Will His kingdom come crashing down because of economic ruin or more powerful nations?  No – of the increase of his government there shall be no end.  His kingdom is an eternal kingdom.

The feeling in many countries across the world right now is described as uncertain.  But there is certainty with God.  We can be certain that He will do all that He has promised to do.  We can be certain that His kingdom will be made known through the church and will one day fill the earth.  We can be certain that His love and goodness, His grace and mercy, His justice and righteousness, His truth and honour will last forever.

Do I want God to be my king?  Yes I do.  And he will be my king forever.

I really enjoy engaging with people who are prepared to come along and ask questions.  People who struggle with some of the big issues in life.  People who have experienced difficult times and are trying to make sense of the world.

People like you and me.

I enjoy exploring the gospel in relevant, contemporary ways.  I enjoy communicating God’s love for people, the history of God’s passion for us and the lengths He will go to for us, the simple truths of the Christian faith in a complex world, the power of the cross and the wonder of a relationship with an all-powerful and holy father in heaven.

I am always amazed by God’s grace as people of all ages and backgrounds are saved and Christians are provoked about holy lives and what it means to be a child of God.  Every time I teach on the cross I am changed.  Every time I teach on prayer and the bible I am challenged.  Every time I consider the Spirit I find myself longing for more.

Which means that next weekend I will be coming to God with many others asking Him to pour out His Spirit upon me, equipping me to live a life that is pleasing to Him and which brings Him glory.  Because that’s what I’m here for.

My time with that church came to an end soon afterwards.  My self-esteem was low, my confidence weak and I had lost courage.  All my effort was being aimed at recovering my health and being able to function again as a husband and father.  It had been a very difficult season.

Some months after the initial breakdown, I was driving down a familiar stretch of road when I sensed God ask me if I would step back into leadership again.  I wasn’t thinking about church or the past – I wasn’t looking forward to the future.  It was totally out of the blue but I had no hesitation.  Yes LORD, I thought.  I would.

Why?  Because I would do anything Jesus asked me to do.  I trust Him to lead me well.  Because my past does not determine my future.  His purposes do.

And because leadership is a gift like any other, and I don’t think that God takes away His gifts once he has given them, it seemed natural that I would be asked to step back up to the plate at some point.

I kept fairly quiet about the experience though.  It would be a long time before it became an issue in any setting other than my own heart.  But I definitely settled something that day, in that moment, and I’m so glad I did.

This week I have been welcomed into the leadership team of Jubilee, my new church.  It is a different model from my previous experience and I have no idea where it will lead.  For now, I am grateful for the love and support I have received there, for the trust that people have placed in me and for the opportunity to serve Jesus and my local church within the gifting He has given me.

It is the next chapter in a wonderful adventure with Jesus.  And I am looking forward to every step!

I also wear a wedding ring.  A daily reminder of my wife and the vows I have made to her.  Of how much I love her and of how she loves me.

Two rings that remind me of the two most significant relationships in my life.

Two rings that also remind me of two powerful images from the bible.  A reminder that God is my father in heaven and that Jesus is a bridegroom in waiting who loves and cherishes His bride.  Two daily reminders that in this life I am loved and that when this life is over, I will be with my God forever.

True Grit tells the story of 14-year-old Mattie Ross as she seeks revenge for the murder of her father.  Mattie is uncomplicated and incredibly brave.  Her voice is clear and authentic and she wins over even the hardest of men with her clarity of mind and her unwavering determination.

“You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God.”

The book naturally and beautifully re-creates the world of its time.  The danger and thrill of the American adventure.  The world of the native American, the outlaws, the marshalls and the ordinary families trying to make their honest way.  The dignity and the utter cruelty of men.  The longing for justice.  The love of a daughter.

It is one of those stories that I expect to revisit very soon.  Immensely enjoyable.

Now we know that we live with the incredible blessings of God every day.  We have already received every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Jesus.  We have grace and mercy and forgiveness of sins, we have the adoption as sons and the filling of His Spirit.  But there are still seasons of life in which God seems to bring special blessings.

And the table of blessings that God lays out before us in such times are there to be enjoyed.  If you have friends round for a meal and you go to a lot of trouble to prepare a fantastic meal, no expense spared and all the garnishing, you don’t really want to hear them say that they are on an onion diet and won’t eat anything but onions.  You want them to enjoy the meal you have prepared.

And God wants us to enjoy His blessings.  Enjoy them and accept the honour that He gives you in the process.

And in my view, it is in seasons of blessing that it is best to make decisions about the principles we will live by.  When things are good, decide how you will parent your children, use your money, serve your church and local community.  In a season of blessing, commit yourself to living whole-heartedly for God so that you can carry these things through when times are harder.

And in seasons of blessing, know that God is with you and will always be with you.  Goodness and love will follow you all the days of your life.  All the days of your eternal life.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4.

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6-7.

David experienced testing times which he likened to the “valley of the shadow of death.”  Severe indeed.  And the greatest danger in such a time?  It’s not the enemy, but fear.  That’s what David learned.  “I shall not fear”.

And the reason that fear is so dangerous is that we make very different decisions if we’re frightened.

Let’s take money for example.  If you are frightened of a pay cut, reduced hours, losing your job or not receiving your benefits your decisions about what to do with your money will be very different from if you are trusting God to provide, knowing that in Him “you shall not want”.

Fear and faith tend to pull us in opposite directions.  Fear says I will suffer and must take care of myself.  Faith says God is here, caring and providing for me, protecting me, leading me.  Fear undermines faith.

So if you are walking through a season of testing, even the valley of the shadow of death, keep trusting God.  Remain faithful.  He is with you.  His rod and staff will comfort you.  And he will lead you through the valley and into the season of blessing beyond.

But more than the (incredible) story of what he does, Shantaram is a story of the (incredible) relationships that he builds.  There is the immensely friendly Prabaker, the beautiful Karla, the trustworthy Abdullah and the father figure of the mafia, Abdul Khader Khan.  It is this relationship which most struck me.

“I also felt a sudden rush of affection for him, an affection that seemed to proceed from and depend upon the inequalities between us.  It was vassal-love, one of the strongest and most mysterious human emotions.”

This love leads Roberts to commit crimes for the Khan, to help run his mafia and ultimately to fight his war in Afghanistan.  There is a point in this relationship when Roberts sees the cost of this love.  The Khan has used him, manipulated situations to his harm – even allowing him to experience the dreadful conditions and torture of a Bombay prison – and his relationships.  Abdul Khader Khan also allowed a close friend and ally to be brutally murdered to serve his own ends.  His own vainglorious war in Afghanistan.

But Roberts, and the men around him, still love the Khan.

It is an emotion that I have both seen and experienced.  A love built around inequality that allows you knowingly to be used for someone else’s purposes to your own cost.  Strong and mysterious indeed.  And when you stand outside that relationship, as to some extent we are forced to in reading an account of someone else’s life, it becomes inexplicable.

Roberts’ search for an approving father figure costs him dearly.  And yet, at the end of the book, you suspect that he wouldn’t have had it any other way.